Becca lives in Hot Springs Arkansas with her amazing husband, 3 fur babies and a human baby on the way! Becca shares that she always struggled with body image issues, stemming largely from being a cheerleader in college and competing in bikini and figure competitions post-college. As a result, she suffered several negative consequences with her relationship with food, turning to over-exercise and control. This eventually led to fertility problems which is why she joined the Food Freedom Fertility Society! Becca shares that since recovering from Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, she’s never looked back because her life has forever changed for the better! IVF vs getting your period back to get pregnant.

In this episode:

• PCOS misdiagnosis and the light bulb moment recognizing you have HA
• The psychological impact of high-dose hormones used in fertility treatment
• Can macro counting be a stepping stone to food freedom?
• The true freedom of letting go of numbers and learning to trust your body
• The power of positive thinking during your recovery journey 
• The work that needs to be done even after you get your period back
• Navigating miscarriage and getting pregnant with your rainbow baby
• Why healing your relationship with food matters for motherhood

Connect with Lindsey Lusson: 

Instagram: @‌food.freedom.fertility
Website: www.foodfreedomandfertility.com/
Twitter: @LindseyLusson
Tiktok: @food.freedom.fertility

Transcript:

Lindsey Lusson  00:00

In all of this, what did eating and exercise would look like for you?

Becca  00:03

So it started off, we actually had our mock IVF, or mock transfer, I think, is what it called it. We had it scheduled, and then I just knew. I knew something was going on, this wasn’t right, and your podcast popped up. And I was like, this is interesting. Because I know dang well I’m not consuming at least 2500. I’m exercising two times a day. 

Becca  00:03

When I got with you, I just stopped exercise completely. I would do yoga every now and then, just to stretch my body, because I was kind of getting a little tight. But I was like, I’m just gonna stretch this first… so much energy came back. My relationship with my husband got better, and then it just made things so much better, and having that food freedom and exercise just balance, just changed everything for the good.

Lindsey Lusson  00:49

Welcome to the Period Recovery and Fertility Podcast. Here, we discuss the challenging warning and life changing process of recovering your period and finding freedom with food and exercise. Whether you’re hoping to regain your cycle to get your health back on track or you’re ready to become a mama, this podcast is for you. While the recovery process isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, it’s my hope to bring you both information and inspiration during your own recovery journey. I’m your host, registered dietitian and fellow HA woman, Lindsey Lusson. 

Lindsey Lusson  01:20

Becca, lives in Hot Springs, Arkansas with her amazing husband, three fur babies and a baby human on the way. Becca shares that she’s always struggled with body image issues, stemming largely from being a cheerleader in college and competing in bikini and figure competitions post college. As a result, she suffered several negative consequences with her relationship with food turning to over exercise and control. This eventually led to fertility problems, which is why she joined the Food Freedom Fertility Society. 

Lindsey Lusson  01:47

Becca shares that since recovering from hypothalamic amenorrhea, she’s never looked back, because her life has been forever changed for the better. 

Lindsey Lusson  01:54

Okay, y’all, welcome back to another episode of the Period Recovery and Fertility Podcast. I am super excited. These are some of my favorite episodes are to bring on past clients, because they really help you guys to visualize where maybe you are today, and help you realize where you can go. So today we have Becca. Welcome. Becca, 

Becca  02:10

Hello. Thank you for having me

Lindsey Lusson  02:13

Absolutely. Well, it’s so fun to catch up because you kind of just graduated out of our program with some really, really fun results and news. And your story, I think is so important because you didn’t.. you never really got that official kind of HA diagnosis. Is that correct? 

Becca  02:30

Yeah, I was originally diagnosed with PCOS, and that was definitely incorrect. So no, never diagnosed with HA. Saw a lot of your things, I was like, No, don’t have PCOS.

Lindsey Lusson  02:43

I know. And I feel like, sometimes you just have, you just know. It’s funny, because HA is actually nowhere in my medical chart. And if some of you guys already know that. But just reiterating that not everybody gets a diagnosis. It’s not uncommon to get a PCOS misdiagnosis when you really have HA just because clinically, the way it’s diagnosed, there is a decent amount of overlap. 

Lindsey Lusson  03:04

Unless somebody is really looking at things critically, it can just get missed really, really easy. So how did this PCOS misdiagnosis play into your fertility journey, your relationship with food and exercise? 

Becca  03:16

Yeah, so I mean food and exercise even before, was kind of a struggle for me. But when I went to the fertility doctor and my husband, I was kind of trying on our own, and I really didn’t have any periods leading up to that, but I just I didn’t know. I didn’t know the research. There was no schooling about it. There was no education. So I was like, this is interesting. Maybe after we do get even before we got married, we actually got tested and went to a fertility doctor.

Becca  03:44

They did one scan, and they’re like, Oh, I saw a cyst, you have PCOS. We started… They wanted us to do the medications first, and then if that didn’t work, which It obviously didn’t, go into the IUIs, which those didn’t work. Then not anything when we had spoken to them, was like, ask me about my exercise history, or ask me if I had any ovulation, because they told me not having a period was completely and totally normal. Okay,

Lindsey Lusson  04:12

Yeah, and it’s funny, because you were even kind of proactive about this. You thought about having some fertility testing done even before you got married, just proactively thinking, hey, we want to have a family. And so at that time, were you getting irregular periods? No periods on the pill? What was kind of going on during the time that you were diagnosed with PCOS? 

Becca  04:32

I mean, honestly, I literally didn’t have any periods. Even after they diagnosed me, they had to give me shots to start. No pills. I’m sorry, pills to start. 

Lindsey Lusson  04:41

And sometimes providers will use Provera as a diagnostic tool. I disagree with this strongly. But if you respond to Provera, you don’t have HA. If you respond, you likely have something like PCOS going on. If you don’t respond, then it’s HA. And I strongly disagree with that. Because at the end of the day it’s great that you have hormone levels high enough to build up a lining, in which case, we do went to cycling, we do want you shedding that lining. But Provera isn’t the long term solution. 

Lindsey Lusson  05:12

It sounds like also too nobody had really asked any questions at that point about why you weren’t getting a period. It was just like, oh, you know, you can take Provera to shed the lining. Were you told to do it cyclically, like every other month, or anything like that? 

Becca  05:25

Not at all. No. 

Lindsey Lusson  05:27

It’s not a totally uncommon experience either. I think it just kind of highlights the gap and the current, medical system that we have that missing periods are oftentimes normalized and brushed off as normal. A lot of times they’re not even really dealt with, even in the fertility treatment setting, right? Because the answer wasn’t, okay, well, Becca, we’re going to work on how to get your body to ovulate naturally and see and give you some time to see if you can get pregnant. It was all just about intervention after intervention after intervention, which didn’t work. 

Lindsey Lusson  05:54

And so what did that feel like to go through these treatment cycles where you were doing a lot of things. Walk us through the process, for those who are unfamiliar, and maybe even shed some light for those who have no idea what it’s like to go through fertility treatment, and maybe even thinking in the back of their mind, like, oh, it’s just fertility treatment, what’s the big deal. Walk us through a little bit of your experience in that process. 

Becca  06:16

Yeah, I think, honestly, it turned out to be extremely heartbreaking. Knowing that my body wasn’t acting like it should have been. It could have long term defects on what actually could be going on with my body. So honestly went in for initial consultation. Obviously, they did testing on my husband. My husband, they called him obese. He was totally fine. And then it was like myself, when I was like, oh, some things are down, but  everything else looks normal, you should be getting…  This is perfectly fine. Let’s start your medication. 

Becca  06:52

And then medication, I took Clomid and I took letrozole. I took them both at the same time. My emotions were through the roof. It was a freaking roller coaster. I believe we did three rounds of that. And then I started taking two different types of shots. I took shots, I think six days leading up to the actual ovulation shot and I could be wrong. 

Becca  07:14

But it was just a lot. It was a lot of my body. I remember one of the days, and I’ll never forget this, my husband, I went kayaking on the lake, and I went through every single emotion possible. It was like 10 minutes in, I was like, I thought, this is gonna take 20 minutes. He’s like, no, it’s almost there. And then I was crying, I was angry, and then I wasn’t really eating, and I was like, What is going on? And then we got to a rest stop, and I was happy. It was just so many emotions and literally all out once, and I felt so bad for my husband.

Becca  07:47

We finally got back, and I was like, I am so sorry. I am a mess right now. He’s like, Okay, you’re taking a lot of medication, but it was like five different things. It was like five different things. And so after our last one, because we did that twice as well. Then we did two different IUIs. We live in hot springs Arkansas. We were going back and forth between Frisco and hot springs Arkansas, which was a whole another ordeal. Then that’s basically what I thought knew afterwards. But it just takes so much.

Becca  08:17

I felt like I wasn’t treating my husband like I should have. I wasn’t acting like I should have, I just wasn’t myself. We literally probably went through that for about a whole entire year. 

Lindsey Lusson  08:29

Yeah, well, and when you’re kind of faced with, this is what you have to do to have a baby, you kind of just white knuckle your way through. I really appreciate you talking about the emotional toll of infertility and the psychological, hormonal,  impact of taking these really high, unnatural doses of hormone for a body that’s not used to having those and processing those. 

Lindsey Lusson  08:58

I’ll describe to my clients a lot about how, ha, recovery, as you’re getting your recycle back and seeing your fertility return, and you experience this first hand, and sometimes it can feel like a second puberty. You’re getting more acne, your boobs get bigger, crazy emotions and things like that. But when you’re doing it that way, it’s still your body’s natural flow of hormones, even if it is a little out of sync. Versus doing super high doses of injectable hormones, which is what is typically the intervention. 

Lindsey Lusson  09:26

A lot of times started at a lot of times, people are skipping over Clomid or they’re going straight to injectables, and that’s kind of what you’re subjecting your body to. So I can only imagine, gosh, a full year of that. And so in all of this, what did eating and exercise looked like for you?

Becca  09:43

Um, so it started off. So after we actually planned, we actually had our mock IV.  Our mock transfer, I think, is what it called it. We had it scheduled, and then I just knew. I knew something was going on. This wasn’t right. And my friend  actually sent me a podcast, and it was all about getting your period back and why people aren’t getting pregnant. And it was super interesting. I honestly don’t remember the name of it, and then obviously you spiral out of control, because I’m a type A person. 

Becca  10:13

I got to know all the information about it. Then your podcast popped up. And I was like, this is interesting. Because I know dang well I’m not consuming at least 2500. I’m exercising two times a day. Me thinking it’s just for my own sake, it just makes me feel better. It makes me feel less stress. But I was getting anxious if I didn’t do it. And so finally, like, when I pulled that back just a little bit before I met with you, I was still exercising. 

Becca  10:45

I was trying to eat a little bit more, but it just wasn’t it wasn’t working. I was okay, I need a little bit of additional help. And then, literally, when I got with you, I just stopped exercise completely. I would do yoga every now and then, just to stretch my body, because I was kind of getting a little tight. But I was like, I’m just gonna stretch this first, so much energy came back. 

Becca  11:02

Like, my relationship with my husband got better, and then I would tell him to choose a place to eat, and he was like, I don’t want to choose. So, I mean, it just made things so much better. And after it was three weeks with working with you, I never gave my period back, which is…

Becca  11:19

I’m very, very thankful, because I know that that doesn’t happen to a lot of people. Everyone’s going to be different, But I think when I was kind of meeting with you, I was in that sub, um, what’s it called, this sub, when you’re in the middle of recovering. 

Lindsey Lusson  11:37

Like a quasi.

Becca  11:37

Yes, quasi recovery, yes. I think it was at that point when I kind of met you kind of more so on the not recovered side, because there’s a lot mentally I needed to recover too. Then it just changes. Like it changes in so many positive ways. Like you have so much energy to do something, you like to go out to eat, you like to hang out with friends. 

Becca  11:57

You can go out till, I don’t do this often, but go out till midnight and not have to worry, because it’s like, oh, the next morning, I have to wake up at four o’clock in the morning and go run six miles. Like, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter at all. So it really changed having that food, freedom and exercise, just balance, just change everything for the good.

Lindsey Lusson  12:16

Do you think that at the time we started working together, you were aware of how much your schedule with exercise and food was impacting your quality of life at your marriage?

Becca  12:29

Not at all. Okay.

Lindsey Lusson  12:31

Where did all of this start for you? Like, can you remember the first time you decided you needed to restrict food macro count, anything like that? 

Becca  12:40

Yeah. So mine started a long time ago. I was a junior in high school, and actually, this happened. So sophomore year as a cheerleader. As cheerleader, you always want to be the one that’s being tossed up in the air. And I got told I was,  too big to be tossed up in the air. So,  kind of other, like, personal things going on and I was like, Okay, well, I guess I just need to lose weight.  We’re high school, that’s normal, blah, blah.

Becca  13:07

And then that’s when I started, not really eating as much and doing a six mile run. A personal trainer had actually told me that I should only be actually eating 1200 calories and still exercising. Which, this was a kind of a new personal trainer and everything like that. 

Becca  13:23

This is exactly why personal trainer shouldn’t be giving… Okay. So I’m like, Okay, I’m doing it okay. And then I can even remember the day when I used to do the back flips and the back handsprings, the day that I lost my back handspring because I couldn’t, I literally had no energy. I was like, something’s going on. 

Becca  13:43

So I had a friend go to Children’s Medical Center. I actually went into an internal rehab for about a month and a half, and then I went into outpatient care. But I kept cheering. It was just, I loved it. I loved it  so much. So I think ever since that point, it’s always kind of just been a roller coaster, because college cheerleading. You have to be a certain way to college cheerlead, which I wish it wasn’t like that. 

Becca  14:11

But at some cases it is. And so that was kind of an up and down case as well. Then afterwards, I started bodybuilding. That kind of helped at the third part, because you had to eat a lot to gain muscle and everything. But as far as the exercise, it still was like, okay, so I have to exercise every single day. I think it’s a lot of things into one, and then it was just like, well, I’m done bodybuilding. I’m just gonna keep on exercising. I’m just not gonna eat as much so I can keep toned.

Lindsey Lusson  14:40

Yeah, I mean, it definitely sounds like there was a climb out of the pit from your lowest, but also some things that were fully addressed. And it’s hard, right? When you’re an athlete just thinking about like going through eating disorder recovery and still cheeriing. It’s always up to the practitioner and their team, right? About whether or not the athlete needs to be removed from their sports, and there’s, pros and cons to that. So it makes sense that that wasn’t really dealt with or addressed properly then, and why it kind of continued even beyond high school. Beyond college and even into,  the time where you were kind of trying to concede. 

Lindsey Lusson  15:17

I’m curious on this, because I hear this sometimes from people and I don’t disagree with this. Because I think for some people, macro counting can be a stepping stone in healing your relationship with food. And hear me out if anybody thinks that that’s triggering. When you go from blatantly under eating, blatantly restricting to having a bit of knowledge about food and macronutrients and how they can actually benefit your body, sometimes that can be motivating for people to eat more and to be more intentional about eating, instead of just blatantly restricting or dieting all the time. 

Lindsey Lusson  15:53

And I think that that’s good thing. The problem that I see with macro counting long term is that it leads to obsession around the numbers, obsession around control, and ultimately, a tool to just kind of constantly restrict and manipulate your body. Which for some people, doesn’t have as many adverse impacts. But for a lot of women, especially active women, it can have a huge impact on their hormones and their future fertility. And so I’m guessing that’s kind of where, where it landed with you.

Becca  16:22

Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. I was always trying to macro count and everything like that. That’s why, whenever I got into your program, you’re like,  you can still count if you want to, but we want to try and take that away. My biggest thing is, yeah, I was like that. I was type A, I need to hit a certain number out a certain number, but then my mind goes into, okay, well, if I go over that number going over. 

Becca  16:47

Even starting your program, I was like, Nope, I’m throwing that out the window. I’m not going to use numbers. Because I know myself, I’m just going to go down a rabbit hole, because I’m going to remember what the numbers are. As far as, like, with the portions go, which, again, I know everybody’s different. A lot of it helps with people, which is amazing. Like, if it helps you, yeah, for sure, do it. But if it doesn’t, and that it’s gonna trigger you down the long path, which I knew is gonna be with me because I’ve done that before. I was like, nope, throwing that out the window. 

Lindsey Lusson  17:15

Oh, and like to say, if you’re macro counting right now and you still don’t have your period, it’s probably not helping you. Like, again, there’s a difference between having an awareness versus tracking and obsessing, right? And if you leave the ladder the tracking and obsessing, then you’re just adding more stress to your plate, and you’re adding more turbulence in your relationship with food, and really contributing to the distrust with your body.

Lindsey Lusson  17:42

Because the whole idea with macro counting is that,  for some people, I’m talking about it more from a diet perspective, is I need to follow these numbers to tell me what’s enough for my body, versus turning inwardly and being like, what is my body really asking? And this gets complicated in HA recovery, right? Because a lot of people don’t have the internal hunger cues to just kind of wing it, which is why having some structure is helpful. 

Lindsey Lusson  18:09

A lot of our clients come into our program having a lot of knowledge about nutrition, knowing a lot of things and macros. How did you come from this place of having all of this information to just being like, I’m done.

Becca  18:22

Because I knew what I was doing wasn’t working. And I just, I needed to change it. I was so strict on what I was eating, even though I thought it was very nutritious, and that’s what I needed to eat, the whole, like, oh, just go six days as a clean and then have your so called cheat meal. That’s not a way to live. It’s really not. Some people, yeah, they love it. They do it. It doesn’t consume their lives. That’s perfect. But yeah, I mean, when you have a background of what’s actually going into stuff, but being able to just free yourself of that, that’s where the freedom part came into it on my part.

Lindsey Lusson  19:01

Yeah definitely. I know for myself, not having a lot of guidance through recovery and being a registered dietitian and thinking that I knew everything in the world eight years ago. And there was so much I didn’t know. But I know for me, personally, I held on to macro counting even during recovery as a way to control. I thought at the time that I was using it to kind of limit and control my weight gain. What would you say to someone who’s approaching recovery that way, knowing that you did it a different way, and the outcome that you’ve gotten? 

Becca  19:30

Yeah, I mean, if it works for you, and that you’re not going to go down a spiral, then that’s great. Like, I love that for you. If you’re still just counting macros, because it know it’s gonna make you feel better in the long run, knowing what’s going on. But as long as you’re not stricting yourself to…

Becca  19:47

If you see an Oreo, a double slapped Oreo, which my husband, I have those almost every single night, and you want one, then have one. But if you know that in your head, well, if it’s gonna go over my macros, I shouldn’t do it. Yeah, do it. iIt’s not gonna hurt anything, It’s gonna make you strict even more down the road if you don’t have that cookie that you want.

Lindsey Lusson  20:07

Well, and I think that you just highlighted the difference between somebody who could use this as a tool and information versus somebody, it’s when our emotions start getting locked up in it, right? Or we have the inability to have that flexibility, and then ultimately having that kind of come to do this moment with, like, Okay, well, like, is this working right? Because I’ve been macro counting. I’ve gone from 1800 calories to 2200 calories, and I’ve been doing this for two months, three months, four months, eight months, and I still don’t have my period back. Like, okay, well, clearly this isn’t working. It’s time for a different approach.

Lindsey Lusson  20:40

in letting go of macro accounting, what changed for you in terms of your relationship with food and any other things that were positive?

Becca  20:49

I would say, honestly, having what I want. If I crave an ice cream sundae, I’m gonna get an ice cream sundae if I’m walking down the street. I love it too, because before all this I would be,  kind of working and then my husband like, Hey, do you want to just meet me up at because he works at a brewery, he’s like, do you want to meet me at a brewery? Have a beer, go get some ice cream or something afterwards? I’d be like, no I have to stay home and work. But really was like, I don’t. I literally just ate. I probably shouldn’t be doing that.  But now I’m like, yeah, let me go ahead and do that. Like, why not? 

Becca  21:20

I’m not thinking about it in the morning. I used to wake up, do a HIIT workout, wait till a certain time in the morning, only have a certain kind of breakfast in the morning, which was not at all sustainable about what I did for my workout that was already fasted, and then I wouldn’t eat till a certain another time. It was like, literally all planned out and not having to do that anymore. It’s just so nice.

Becca  21:20

It’ll be a good chance to go out, be with him, do something that we normally wouldn’t do. And there’s so much less stress on my shoulders now not caring about that, and being able to have that balance relationship and whatnot, to be able to do that. I’m not thinking about it at night. 

Lindsey Lusson  22:06

Yeah, and I think that’s something that you just said, is something that people really fail to recognize. Sometimes this is hard to see, like it’s something that people can’t bring to your awareness, because only you know this. And sometimes we really lack this self awareness. But what is the amount of stress that counting macros or counting calories is having on you? Do you plan your whole day around your allotment? Are you tempted to turn down invitations for social engagement so that you can stick to your plan? 

Lindsey Lusson  22:40

Are you going to bed at night reanalyzing everything that you ate? What kind to decide, was it enough was it too much? Was I good, was I bad? The emotional toll that it can take on you. And we talk about how stress is a really huge impact on our fertility, our hormones and our ability to get pregnant.  Why are you holding on to this tool if it is causing you stress. But again, that’s only something that you can answer, because there’s no way I can look at you and say, Becca, I know you’re thinking about food right now. I know you are. There’s no way I can know that. 

Becca  23:11

Yeah. And it becomes just so part of your normal day, you don’t even realize it. You really don’t, until you actually put your foot in the door, and you’re like, No, I’m not going to do this anymore. Like, I’m not. And then you realize how many restrictions that you have, whether it be time, whether it be food, whether that you won’t go somewhere, whether you won’t have a certain food, whether if you’re drinking almond milk or if you’re drinking the full fat. And it’s like, oh my god. Like, where has this been all my life.

Lindsey Lusson  23:40

It is wild that you can get so used to a way of living that you are unaware of the ways that it’s holding you back. But the only way to see it is to get on the other side unfortunately.

Lindsey Lusson  23:53

You got your period back so fast. I feel like anyone who’s listening to this episode is gonna be like, Whoa. Rewind. Like, what, she got her weary back in three weeks. What do you think you did that allowed you to recover so fast? And understanding that, as we’re talking through this question, some people are just going to recover faster than others, like the end.  But what do you think you did that allowed you to maybe have a leg up on recovering faster? 

Becca  24:21

I really just came in with an open mind. I told my husband, I’m going to do this. I’m going to do this 100%. I’m going to do exactly what she tells me, and I’m not going to restrict. And if I want something, I’m going to have it, and I’m just going to do it. Also I know Body Dysmorphia is a lot of it too. Like, I literally threw away the scale. I didn’t look at myself in the mirror. I knew I was going to be comfortable with my growing body at some point, but probably not right then and there when it’s happening, and it’s something super, super new.

Becca  24:53

But I was like, I’m just going to go in it with all force. I don’t care. Like, I’m not going to look at calories. I’m gonna have fries with cheese if I wanted to. For the longest time I thought I was lactose intolerant. I’m not joking you, it was so crazy. And then my husband, I we started having ice cream, and then we started using the actual milk and everything. And I’m like, This is really weird. I’m not as bloated as I was, and just really trying to focus on the pros rather than the cons. 

Becca  25:23

I’m always trying to be like a positive person. If I start focusing on the cons and the negatives of everything, that’s just going to pull me back even, even more. But you have a light at the end of the tunnel, and if you keep on running towards that light, you’ll get there.

Lindsey Lusson  25:37

Yeah, 100%. Attitude is everything. You are definitely want to be most positive clients I’ve taken through this process, which makes my job very easy. But exactly that thinking about… I think a couple of things that I just want to draw out and remind listeners is  you set yourself up for success. Number one, you committed to a program. You’re like, I’m in. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this. And me committing to this program. I’m in. Tell me what to do. 

Lindsey Lusson  26:03

You also set yourself up for success by limiting some of the triggers. You were, like, my body’s going to change. I’m not going to like it. I’m going to work on tha but in the meantime, I’m not going to be looking at myself every day, checking the scale, etc, etc. So a lot of things that you did really well, I think, from the get go, to get in the right mindset, and then as you progress through recovery, and granted your time to period wasn’t very long, and that obviously is a great little carrot on the path towards pregnancy. 

Lindsey Lusson  26:33

But you were also noticing the things around you that were positive, rather than hyper fixating on “my jeans don’t fit, or I’m so bloated today where I don’t want to have to eat that”. I mean, you did such an amazing job, even through, honestly, a lot of adversities. Because I know people are like, Oh, well, this is like, such a fluff recovery story. Tell us a little bit more about what happened after you got your period back and your fertility journey after that. 

Becca  27:01

Yeah, so after I wanted to continue with the group. I knew I wasn’t ready. I got my period back, and it’s like you could literally let go, and then you could just… Everything could just say, suction back then, and you can just go back down the tunnel, not towards the light.

Becca  27:17

Creating that group in that atmosphere too, it was so hard to leave. Like I love my girls, I still talk to them, even still to this day. And one of the girls I even started off with, literally my first month, I still talk to her, and we chat like almost every single day. Then the two other girls that got pregnant at the same time, like that was insane. And we still talk every single day. So the group aspect of everything, I think, is what really kept me going, too. And after I get my period back, I don’t want to go back down that tunnel. That’s what my thought was. 

Becca  27:51

I was like, I’m still gonna have to work hard, because this is just the beginning. I have to make sure that I keep on going. Because I don’t know if I’m ovulating, I don’t know if how my LH is, I don’t know if my body temperature is good at night. So there was still a lot of questions, even after you get your period, that you just don’t know until you still have to work towards that. Which is always going to be something to work towards. But just in that period back, it was like this is working. Just keep going. 

Lindsey Lusson  28:20

Yes, physical proof is so, so powerful. 

Lindsey Lusson  28:23

I know you’re loving this client success story and ready to hear what’s going to happen next, but I want to pause for just a sec and invite you to take the next step. If you’re ready to get results like these for yourself. Clients following our proven Food Freedom Fertility Method, see cycles return in just eight weeks, and over 80% of our clients get pregnant naturally. If you’ve been DIY-ing period recovery for three months or longer, now is the time to act to get the support that you need to fast track your pregnancy. Check out the show notes on how to apply, and I look forward to seeing you on a fertility strategy call. 

Lindsey Lusson  28:51

And so how many cycles did it take you to get pregnant? 

Becca  28:55

So after I got my first period, we talked about how to confirm ovulation, because there’s no education in this, which I think someone needs to have an education class on this, to be quite honest. 

Lindsey Lusson  29:05

That’s so funny that you went through a year, a full year, of fertility treatment, and nobody told you to cycle track. 

Becca  29:14

Nobody. I even remember still, like, after doing the IUI, I was like, hey, so can I still run? Can I still run? Can I still do my my exercise activity that I do? They’re like, Fine, keep doing it. Yeah, okay, sorry, what was your question before?

Lindsey Lusson  29:30

But such a relevant point, right? The whole process of getting pregnant with fertility treatment is, like, you’re not going to learn about your body, you’re not going to balance your hormones. You might get pregnant. But, like then what? And so my question was, you got your period back, you’re recognizing, hey, I can go one of two ways with this at this point. I can keep going, thrive, get where I want to be. 

Lindsey Lusson  29:54

There’s probably more work to be done. Or I could easily slip back right, like I already got results. Would I keep going, but you recognize the need for community talking about how like these people you still talk to today. And then I was asking, like, what happened with, in terms of your fertility journey next like, when did you fall pregnant and kind of, what happened after that? 

Becca  30:12

That’s right. So confirmed ovulation on my second period, and then my third period, my husband, I actually got pregnant, and we were like, it was so it was so, so crazy. Seeing the look in my husband’s eyes. The best feeling in the world for me is whenever someone else is extremely, extremely happy, and I will never forget that. And it was like we tried so, so hard. This is actually happening. And then, of course, we had a trip to Mexico that, was a station wedding. I’m like, It’s fine, it works. 

Becca  30:48

And then we unfortunately, came back to our ultrasound. It was like a long three week thing, but we ended up, we had a miscarriage, unfortunately. And knowing what I know now, I know it’s extremely common. I know it’s not what I had before. It wasn’t because of HA. So I know you and I had talked about that as well, because I’m like, did I force this on my body? And it was just people don’t talk about it. They really don’t.

Becca  31:14

 It’s hard, it really is hard to talk about. We actually planted two trees in our front yard, because it was like tools, two little sacks. I weren’t growing, and so it was many ways. Five weeks later, we got pregnant again, literally before, before my period even hit. Like it was insane. I remember my friend was actually over with her baby, and I was like, think I might be ovulating because you you learn all the signs, you do, you learn all the signs. And it’s so great. You’re like, I have cervical mucus. This is awesome. 

Becca  31:44

And I told my husband, I was like, oh my god, I’m out of, my little sticks. I need to go to Walmart. And then, sure enough, like, so funny. So I’ll never forget it. She was putting her baby down, and I tested and I was like, I’m ovulating. He was like, No, you’re not, yeah. It was like, It’s go time, yeah. And so it’s funny enough. So, so funny. I love my friend, she’s hilarious. And then two weeks later, we found out we’re pregnant. My husband did not believe it. He was like, I don’t believe this.

Becca  32:09

I don’t believe it. And I’m like, Well, I guess you know, all we have to do is wait. And so going to that first scan, and actually hearing the heartbeat of that first scan, it was just like tears were rolling both down our eyes. My ultrasound lady was like, It’s okay, just keep still pleased. I’m like, I’m trying. I’m trying. So now we’re, um, we’re 16 weeks today, actually. And so yes, who’s so excited? And I think, like, Finally, after I got out of the first trimester, I’m finally, like, Yeah, more less anxious. There’s always anxiety. There’s because of what could happen, but it is such it is such a relief, like it really is.

Becca  32:51

I was in your program for six months. I was with you for half of a year. .But because of you and your program, like, we got to where we are right now. It’s such a feeling that we wanted for so so long, and knowing that it’s here, it’s crazy. But, like, even, like, pregnancy, like, you’re gaining weight. But this would have happened before, I don’t know if I’d be okay. Like, I’d be like, Oh my God, what’s going on. I’m getting all this way, what’s going on, but now I’m like, Oh my God, look at this little baby. It’s in me. So, I mean, it’s just, it’s so nice.

Lindsey Lusson  33:27

I think about that often, about how it’s kind of funny, the way things work, right? Like, this is a very divine design, because it is right. Your body is incapable of pregnancy because you aren’t nourishing properly, and you’re over stressing it, right? So it shuts that system down, and you have to go through a process of physiological healing, re nourishing, lowering those stress hormones, learning, kind of how to eat again. That’s important to actually get the communication system working, and to be able to ovulate and, like, physically get pregnant. 

Lindsey Lusson  34:02

But it’s also a lot of mental healing too. Because if you think about it, the mental state when you’re in, when you’re missing your period, really isn’t the mental state that you want to be in when you’re pregnant or when you’re at a mom, when you when you’re a mom, right? Because for me, it was all very knee centric. When can I get my workout in? Should we go to the restaurant? Do they have that healthy options that I can eat? 

Lindsey Lusson  34:23

Let’s have people over to our house so I can cook and I can be in control. And that mindset is not going to serve you very well when you’re introducing a new little life that is literally going to depend on you for everything. And you have this a lot. I think about that a lot. I think about how hard, how much harder pregnancy and motherhood would be if I didn’t have to go through this process.

Becca  34:45

For sure. And it’s like your your child looks up to you. You’re their role model. So if you’re obviously as a little, tiny kid, you’re not going to drink breast milk, but obviously they know that. But when they’re getting older and you’re establishing new foods with them. Um, and they get to that point where it’s like, well, why are we all having hamburgers and Mommy’s having grilled chicken? Yeah? 

Becca  35:07

Like, because that’s what I would have done, like, even, like, going to the cookout at my mom, she would be like, Well, do you want grilled chicken?  Because we’re gonna have hamburgers and hot dogs. But I know that you probably don’t like those. I’m like, let’s do it. But now I’m like, No, let’s do it like, I want to be one with the family, like I don’t want to,  I want to be that role model for my kid. Like, you can have this. It is perfectly fine.

Lindsey Lusson  35:29

Well. And you think about how much of a role your your family can play into your relationship with food and your body. After going through what you went through, like, How good does it feel to know that you have the tools to pass on what you’ve learned to them, and to model things in a healthy way, not setting them up for I mean, credit. There’s gonna be a lot of triggers for people.  It sounds like that it wasn’t necessarily something that started at home for you, but you’re able to at least help them establish that really healthy foundation.

Becca  35:59

Yeah, no, for sure, yeah. We can’t, thank you enough. And I even remember one time, which, again, kind of going back on a tangent, where we are in the middle of doing our IUIs back in in Frisco, and we went to a gym, and one of my husband’s old clients came down. She was like, she gave me a good, strict talking. She was like, you have to stop running. This is not doing good. You’re not gonna get pregnant. It was very, very heartfelt. I keep on going back to that conversation. I’m like, You are right.

Becca  36:38

Like, you were right, 100% you were right. And I love her to death for it, because it’s so funny, because she’s kind of like a mom figure in my husband’s life. And I was like, I’m laying down one of your mom’s. But looking back at it, like 100% I’m like, How did I not see that? Like, it’s so, so crazy. I just hope and wish that when my kid grows older, that they know how to take care of her body the right way.

Lindsey Lusson  37:07

I do think that what you’ve learned will help you to be able to pick up on things that you wouldn’t have been able to. Had you gone through this journey. I’m curious when that friend had said that to you. It sounds like you can say this today, you were right. How did it feel when they said that to you in the moment? Was there denial, was there anger? I’m curious. Did it take a bit to get to a place where you’re like, oh, they were right. Like, I’m so glad they said that. 

Becca  37:37

Literally, all that. I walked out, I was bawling, and I was like, I’m doing what the doctors are telling me. It was all the emotions, like, all the emotions. I didn’t believe it. And that’s totally on me, because I was just taught something else. I was going through this for so so long. And I’m like, well, these doctors are telling me this, like, this is what you’re saying. And then after meeting you, and I’m like, Oh my God. Like, she’s so right. She’s so so right.

Becca  38:11

I reached out to her, I was like, I appreciate you so so much for giving me that heart to heart, because you did it, because you love me. 

Lindsey Lusson  38:18

It’s not so hard, I think, to get up the nerve to say that out of fear for how it might be received. I definitely think it has to be the right person in the right situation to be received properly. But no matter what you’re telling somebody that they don’t what they don’t want to hear, and sometimes it takes a couple of months or years for somebody to recognize that that was what they needed to hear or that was what they needed to absorb over.

Becca  38:47

And she literally did, because she loves us, and that was the thing. She knew how bad we wanted to be pregnant, too. 

Lindsey Lusson  38:52

The only thing that we haven’t really gotten into with your story is the kind of big elephant in the room is like, how did you handle all of these body image changes? Because I think that this is something that everyone’s like, that’s amazing.  Obviously I don’t want to go through a year of infertility. I’m all in. I want to get my period back in three weeks. But how much do I actually have to eat? Do I really have to give up exercise? And a lot of times, at the core of that is I don’t want to give up control, and I’m scared of how my body’s going to change. How did you navigate through all of that?

Becca  39:23

I will tell you the first pair of shorts that did not fit me I threw away. And I literally went through all my clothes and I threw out, literally, I don’t have any jeans because I sold. I haven’t gone shopping with jeans. And I’m like, Okay, well, I’m gonna be in, like, by the time winter comes. I’m gonna be in maternity once. I’m gonna be plugged, which, I mean literally, I had to start all my wardrobe basically byscratch again. I think that really helped me, too.

Becca  39:48

And, there’s still some things that, like, are still in there that I probably miss now, like, I’ll get them down sometime. I’m like, Oh my god. This is so small. Like, what? Oh my gosh. But it really takes you back to where, like, if I. Look at that. And if I wasn’t okay with my body, now, I would still be exactly where I was. So if I didn’t grow to love my body, because it got me a child, I wouldn’t have a child. So it kind of like I again, I just I didn’t look at myself in the mirror. 

Becca  40:18

I think the hardest part was being in the shower, because being in the shower, obviously,  you’re like, doing all these twists and turns. You’re like, oh, this is kind of harder to get to like what is going on, but I would say just like you. I just went with the flow of it. I just really, really trusted it was I gonna like it probably not. But if I wanted to get to where I am today, I had to do it anyways, and I knew at some point I was going to be okay with it. 

Lindsey Lusson  40:45

Wow, it’s kind of the only way to the other side is, is to actually go through it. If there were a way to be able to restore your fertility and get pregnant without having to change your body y’all like, I would be like, screaming it from the rooftops. But the fact of the matter is, is that there isn’t. Fact of the matter is, is that whatever body size you’re at when you aren’t getting your period and ovulating and able to get pregnant isn’t a healthy body size for you and like, that’s a really, really harsh reality that if you’re wrestling with today, that’s normal. 

Lindsey Lusson  41:18

Like it does, but that was something I always had to tell myself through the process. Through the process too, is, like, even like, looking back, like I was never going to get pregnant at that body size. Like, yeah, I could continue to run all the miles and,  eat super clean and,  look like that, but I was never going to get pregnant in a body that looked like that. Do other people, sure, but like, that’s not me. And I think that that’s a hard reconciling that everybody has to go through at some point. 

Becca  41:44

Yeah, I think it’s hard as well when you’re not comparing yourself to other body types, just like you said, like you can get pregnant at that size. Well, why can’t I? That’s not you, unfortunately, like it’s not you, and  your body’s made for you. It’s your body’s not me for them, yeah? So also, just, like, really, not trying to compare myself. And then obviously, like, when I was going to the gym, like, you would get comments, and that would just feed into everything, yeah? So, I

Becca  42:14

mean, like, obviously comments really, like, don’t happen. Like, that, really, anymore, I don’t care. Like, I’m not trying to impress you like I got my baby daddy. He’s fine with me. I’m good. Exactly,

Lindsey Lusson  42:25

When, kind of navigating through body changes too. I think one thing that you have to really think about is like, it’s okay to like, not love the way that your body looks, or even like the way that your body looks as you’re gaining weight. Gaining weight, and it’s changing, but one thing that you do have to remember is, regardless of what you like or what you perceive, your body is healthier with body fat. Your body is healthier when you’re getting a cycle. 

Lindsey Lusson  42:25

Exactly. And I think it’s kind of liberating too, because when you’re thriving off of those body comments, and that’s what’s fueling everything, it’s like, well, what happens when they stop? Right? And then you’re doing everything, these comments from strangers, and you’re like, Whoa. Like, who am I actually doing this for, right? I’m wifed up. He’s not going anywhere. And I’m still concerned with getting, comments from the girl in my spin class, like, Who is this? Who is this all really for? 

Lindsey Lusson  43:15

And maybe it’s less about do I like it, do I not like it, and more about trying to move to move to a place of acceptance. And this takes time. This is absolutely not an overnight process, but translated over into your pregnancy. And how do you feel like you’re kind of feeling today? Is it still a work in progress? Is it,  getting better, Is it different every day? What’s kind of in your experience in pregnancy with body image? 

Becca  43:37

Yeah, I think I don’t want to say I’m ever going to be fully, fully healed. I think there’s always going to be something where it’s like, oh, maybe I shouldn’t have that. One of those things, but knowing the steps to overcome that and be like, No, it’s okay. Why can’t I? So I think those, those thoughts can still come and go, because you have. I mean, people go through this for a long, long time.

Becca  44:02

 I feel like, even like, with, with your clients, people have been going through this for a long time. Like, it’s not just, Oh, I’ve been going through this for a month and now, like, no like, and so it takes, it takes time. It’s always baby steps, but as long as, as long as you can remember how to get over those that’s totally okay. It’s normal. It is normal to feel like, ,

Lindsey Lusson  44:26

I think definitely, I mean, I think, like, take home message is, like, if you’ve been struggling with disordered eating and body image issues for two decades, like you’re not going to undo it in two months. Like it’s just you’re not. But what we hope is that through the process and getting the right level of support through the process that you’re able to gain, like some healthier coping mechanisms and some tools to prevent you from spiraling, to prevent you from entertaining those thoughts and eventually engaging in the thoughts that led to period loss in the first place. 

Lindsey Lusson  44:53

And so it’s good to hear that you feel like,  bringing the honesty into that, it’s like, it’s not perfect, like there’s still. Is when I hear things and I question things. I do think over time it becomes a lot more intuitive. I think everything’s still a little bit fresh for you, because now we’re what eight, nine months into nine months into kind of being on this journey together. It will definitely become more and more intuitive. But, it’s also crazy when you go through pregnancy and there’s all the appetite changes and the weird pregnancy symptoms, and then you’ll give birth, and then if you breastfeed, you’ll have the crazy breastfeeding hunger. So it’s all, it’s all a learning process, and very much a very, very much just that a process. 

Becca  45:32

Yeah, no, for sure. And I mean, like, I always know I can I have my husband, to go to, and I’m always like, lean on your support system. Like, always have a support system, even like outside of the group, like I was saying, like my girls in the group, they’re my support system, my husband is my support system. So have someone to lean on. Don’t just put everything on yourself.

Lindsey Lusson  45:54

Doing it on your own or being isolated is, is making things worse or harder than they have to be. So yeah,

Becca  46:00

me go down a black hole. Yeah, yeah. 

Lindsey Lusson  46:03

Well, Becca, thanks so much for your time and sharing your story. This has been super inspiring, and we’re so looking forward to hearing more from you in your journey into motherhood. Thanks just for your time today and your willingness to be vulnerable and open with your story. 

Becca  46:18

No, of course. Thank you again for having me. I appreciate it.